Sunday, May 15, 2011

not seeing with euro-vision...

Yes, time for the yearly cringe fest that is the Eurovision. Of course never actually watch it myself, but like the recent royal wedding that doesn't mean one can escape it...or that one is above paying it just enough attention to ridicule it that bit more effectively.

And like the royal wedding, the gigantic viewing figures that were reported simply beggar belief, if not in the accuracy of the stats, then in there being any hope for the future of mankind whatsoever. Could 120 million sentient beings really want to spend 4 hours of their bitterly short lives watching what is in essence an international contest between groups not good enough to ever normally perform at the international level. Like it or not, music and 'pop stars' are a major element in our cultures, but the very fact that it is such a dynamic and competitive arena which demands a high level of relevant (relative) qualities to get anywhere at all, makes it all the more puzzling why a competition between also, or even never, rans, gets such attention.

Maybe it's just for historical reasons - it was a big thing once, and now is a yearly tradition which is a big event every year, because it was a big event every other year. But how did it ever get started? I was at first tempted by the 'attractive beacon for world peace in the bad old cold war days' thesis, but I'm not sure how trying to get the better of other countries by building up a back scratching alliance of voting favour swaps really would have done anything but remind people of the geopolitics of the day. Except maybe for the fact that the US wasn't involved, which might be it - maybe it was Europe harking back to the 19th century days when it's little regional groupings actually mattered...

Anyway, whatever the history, and whatever it was previously, for as long as I've been aware of it was at most something to take the piss out of. And I have to admit, it was sometimes so good at living up to this role that I often seriously wondered if maybe that was the actual point of it, like a gigantic game of cultural self-mockery. But alas I think it would be too much to hope that any country could lavish such resources on a practical joke of that scale, let alone a group of them take turns in paying for it. And coming from Ireland, it's definitely not a case of sour grapes, given that we won it so many times and, judging by some of our entries, had to go to extra effort to lose the damn thing and not have to fork out to hold it again.

Maybe it was just kept going by all the countries who didn't win thinking that if they did it would make a difference, and they weren't going to let it fizzle out until they had.

While every country produced some joke of an act at some stage, cultural ignorance meant the less well known places were the best bets for a laugh. The problem is most of them didn't grasp that what might have them jumping in the aisles back home, would have their neighbours rolling in them, especially if involved some traditional dress hyped up with the latest local fashion, or some bizarre and unplayable ritual instrument. Though I guess the funniest thing was the sight of them performing in this ridiculous contest with an air of complete sincerity - like someone who turns up to your door in a clown costume and then tries seriously to sell you life insurance.

Though from what I gather, it's all changed since my day (being the 24 hours sometime in the 80s when i went from not knowing what it was to wishing I still didn't). I know there was a step change when the Eastern European countries poured in, but at least they had a legitimate claim to be there (the clue's in the name), not like Israel whose presence I still to this day can't understand.
I think about this time the voting system also went from the straightforward one-country-one-jury system to a more byzantine cross collection of sms voting, which while laudably getting rid of the elitist element (again a joke given the farcical nature of the whole thing) brought in a host of new problems in the form of expat and border communities. These groups risked upsetting what I consider the 2nd point of the whole thing, for an international airing of gripes and grudges..."Ireland, can we have your votes...United Kingdom, nuls points"! In fact, it couldn't really be beaten as a primer on european international relations - watch one eurovision and you soon knew which countries hated which others on a nice handy 12 point scale!

I guess it did contribute the derisatory phrase 'nuls points' to the non-French speaking world, but that was another thing which confused me mightily : why did everything have to be said in 2 languages? Why pander to 2 of the 12 or so countries and not just 1? Logical would be rotating with which ever country was hosting it, but having French and English didn't make sense in any contest since people used line up politely in a field with their muskets before trying to slaughter each other.
I suppose the fact it still gets to me means it's something I love to hate. But from what I briefly saw (failed to not see) of it this year it seems to have even lost it's mirth inducing ridiculousness. Rather than having some entertainment factor through sheer preposterousness, now it seems to be just plain bad. The acts are all trying to emulate the latest chart phenomenon, and really seem to be taking it all quite seriously. Hmmm....or maybe the joke has just been made that bit more subtle...


No comments:

Post a Comment